Relationships: The Impact of Religious Beliefs

Relationships :  The Impact of Religious Beliefs

One of the biggest things that I see people tip toe around in relationships is religion.  There are a lot of inter racial couples out there and so many different types of religions;  but like in relationships religion is like the elephant in the room.  No one wants to talk about it; it’s a topic that no one wants to speak of, like Voldemort’s name.  People now days are scared of getting involved in a person’s religion, because with every religion there are different sets of rules and how do you know if you are breaking them.  People say that that it is better to find someone who shares the same religion, that it’s so much easier if you believe in the same things.  However, it does not always turn out that way.  Even if you do have someone that claims to have the same faith as you, but how the hell do you believe in anything when you can’t even embrace it in a place of worship?

Statistically speaking more than 90 percent of American men say that they believe in god, five out of six of those men call themselves Christians, out of that six only two really go to church on a Sunday, according to cbn.com/spirituallife.   Now, I’m not a prophet or someone of bible authority, but I would agree that you don’t really see a lot of couples that to do regularly attend church. One would say that men don’t like going because church just so happens to cut into Sunday football.  Maybe there is something more to it, something that we are all not seeing.  I believe in God and the bible, but as of lately I find myself not going to church on Sundays.  Part of it would be because I’m so tired and that I use Sundays as my day of rest.  An overly religious person would most likely have the rebuttal of “well God doesn’t get to take a day off on you, what makes you think that you deserve a day off?”   Truth be told, I don’t have a valid answer for that.  

On the relationship tip of it, the bible does encourage religion to be a huge factor in choosing someone to be with forever.  Back in the olden days when men used to court women, it was imperative that a man agree with the woman’s father in politics and her mother in religion. In today’s world religion is like a forgotten art to most people. One source claimed church as being a woman thing.  That to me sounds dumb.  If church is a woman thing, then having a job, paying bills and fixing cars are just a man’s thing, right? Wrong.  People kill me with that, after all women and men are suppose to be equals in every since of the word.  How does someone truly find that special someone if they don’t have a relationship with a higher power?  The average man accepts the reality of Jesus, but fails to see any value in attending church service every Sunday.  Tyler Perry paints a picture of the ideal man in all of his movies.  The woman in the movie is basically jilted and left to fend for herself, believing that there are no good men left out there.  Then out of the blue comes this tragic hero who embraces the reality of god and going to church and they live happily ever after.  But it’s the movies.  Life is not really painted out to be that way.

Then I guess the other question is what keeps a person from really trying to define their relationship with god?  Some people go to church to find someone.  Remember the movie “Two Can Play that Game”, starring Vivica Foxx and Morris Chestnut, which was basically a comical battle of the sexes.  There was a line that said that all the players go to church, why because all the freaks go to church.  He would be correct, because how many of us go to the club the night before and show up at church the next morning?  My point that I’m trying to make is that all relationships are built on some sort of foundation, if religion (any religion)is not a part of it, then what is it that you really believe in?  People need something to believe in. This is not a matter of if my god or your god is right, just the fact that if you and I both can acknowledge that there is a greater power at work in all aspects of our lives then that would be something for us to build on.  I myself could not love someone who didn’t believe in anything.  As we see that the numbers of people who have a firm grasp on religion are dwindling in a downward spiral it makes me wonder, what can we do to make sure that we bring religion or the concept of believing in something back into relationships?  It makes me sad to see lost people; if you don’t have your faith or beliefs in anything then I guess that pretty much makes you an incomplete person.   So the one thing I want you all to take into the New Year is to build a firm foundation with the person that you love.  Believe in something, anything; don’t let a person walk away from you just because you weren’t spiritually prepared.  Then again maybe we all need to try a little harder to work on us and what it is we really believe in.   Until next year.

~Peace Be With You ~

                                                                                    

Relationships & Money: The New Age Pride Prejudice

So I am wondering why is it that money makes things so complicated.  Back in the earlier days woman were married off to men who came from wealthy families, because they themselves were not in a station in life that would allow them or their parents to live comfortably.  It’s really sad that back then parents pimped their daughters out to the highest bidder not caring if love was really a part of the equation.  I had another epiphany while watching one of my favorite movies, Pride and Prejudice.  For those who never had the pleasure of reading one of the best literary works that Jane Austin ever pinned, allow me to summarize.  Enter the Bennett’s, a lower class family consisting of five daughters and a mother who was an exhibitionist when it came to making sure that her daughters were noticed by the right people.  Then on the other hand you have Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy who were rich beyond measure in both land and looks.  All those things caught Mrs. Bennett’s eye, because she wanted her daughters to be rescued from the obscurity and destitution into the comfort that the lap of luxury offers.  How does this fit into modern day romance you may ask?

 Well, one would argue that even in the shambles of today’s world that pimping yourself out to the highest bidder is still acceptable.  Now a day’s people unconventionally date for the love of money and not the person himself.  This is a trait that is commonly found in women, hence the term gold digger.  I’ve noticed a lot of woman my age and even younger are looking for men to take care of them, they couldn’t give a damn about the man’s name or the type of person he is.  Because as long as he looks good and has money then it’s all good right?  WRONG!!!   I have to say that the biggest pet peeve that I have right now with my gender is the fact that we have to rely on someone else to take care of us.  I hear these nonsensical females popping off at the mouth talking about

 “If a dude wanna pay my bills then he can pay my bills.”

If that’s not the most ignorant shit I’ve ever heard. My thing is no one seems  to see the bigger picture,  yeah you’re getting some cash to pay the bills but what would you have to do in the end for that , because let’s face it nothing in this world is free and always comes with a price that you may not  want to pay.  I’m tired of hearing all these women tell men to get their money up.  I wonder how in the hell are you gonna act like that and you don’t have two pennies to rub together your damn self?  It baffles me, what happened to the time when females were out there to make their own way.  I can only say that I know half a dozen real females out there that are about getting ahead and not using a man’s wallet to do it.

I knew this one girl who tried to talk to my brother, JT, and told him that she only dated dudes who only wear Gucci and Prada. I wish that I could see this girl and tell her to go sit the hell down somewhere.  Men don’t really want a woman that they have to take care of financially.  It isn’t a safe bet to just assume that a man will take care of you and bend over backwards, who really wants a man that bends over? This girl had the nerve to put her demands on the table about what kind of man she wants, but I find it funny that you want a rich man, and yet here you sit at Carolina Place mall filling out a job application.  If the girl that I am talking about is reading this then honey, my message to you: Stop trying to find a man to take care of you financially.  Men these days don’t just spend money on a girl without expecting something back in return.  Not to throw salt, but we have a name for women that take money but have to do things for it. Ho!!

  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the money thing is a race based thing, because you don’t have to be just black or white to fit the bill for these types of woman (and I use the term loosely).  Women need to start being a little more proactive when it comes to making their own way.  Even though the guy that is paying for your way of life is not really complaining to you about your ways, you can bet your ass that he’s telling his boys how easy you are when you’re not in the room (which he is paying for).  Yes the role of a man is to provide for his woman (keyword provide not support).  A lot of these females out here have the game twisted.  Men want a woman who can hold a nine to five and bring home some money to.  It’s a turn on to a man to see a woman be independent, Mr. Foxx said it best: “I love her cause she got her own.”  If you don’t know, then you better ask somebody.

So, how did the Pride and Prejudice turn out in the end you ask? Well let’s just say that for you to know that you should watch it.  Another thing about people these days is that they don’t appreciate a good classic.  Darcy did have a lot of work to do to get over his prejudice that he had for Elizabeth because he realized that her circumstances, her inferior birth, and her embarrassing mother were things that she could not control nor should be counted against her.  If a guy saw a woman at least trying to make an effort in her life to reach her goals then he would love to be with her, because after all he wants is to be with someone that will keep him motivated when it comes to achieving his goals. Take some time to meditate on that food for thought and see if it doesn’t help change your life.

~Peace be with you ~

Original Lynn

Relationships: How to Deal with the Insecurities with Girlfriends and Friends

Yo and hello to my readers, I hope all of you have been enjoying the holidays and the extra pounds that accompany holiday food.   I’ve had an epiphany (for those not familiar, a reckoning, and manifestation).   I’ve sat here and thought long and hard about this blog that I work so hard on, I wonder if anybody really gets anything out of it?  The stuff that I write about is important to some decree.  It does not save lives but, I would think that people’s opinions are something to be thought on.  How do you try to make some noise with just one voice?  Well I’ve decided to go weekly now.  I’ll pick a topic for the month and there will be sub topics that way I can get the reading public that I believe that I so richly deserve.  And here we go…

Relationships:  How to Deal with the Insecurities with Girlfriends and Friends

I’m having this conversation with a lot of my friends.  It’s always.  “Why is she so jealous of my female friends?”   This one is for all of the guys out there that have a girlfriend who are currently having this problem.

Where should we start with this one?  Guys, since the beginning of time we woman have always secretly hated each other. We smile in each other’s face and call each other best friends, but at the same time,  when she leaves the room we call her a bitch and then hate on her because she has something we want.  Now I know a lot of women, present company included, will not admit to this.   A co worker of mine (a man) did say that the biggest difference between men and woman is that when it comes to competition, women are secretly competitive.  I agree with this statement, because after all, competition is a huge motivator.  It ignites something in you that makes you want to be at your best.  It’s not something that we get over easily.  It grows tenfold when a man is involved, because let’s face it, no one likes to be second best when the affections of a man is involved.

The insecurities that we have with men are so many.  We get intimidated by our men having these female friends.  Why, because it makes us wonder if when men have those secret fantasies (which they will never own up to) is that the girl that he sees in them?  I hang out with a lot of guys and when the girl friend is brought in there are usually daggers being thrown into the mix.  I was told that my friend’s girl told him that all of his female friends look like super models and that makes her crazy.   Now at the point of pissing this chick off further, if she is reading this I would say that she needs to really get over herself.  You telling a grown ass man that he can’t have friends of the opposite sex is crazy.  That goes the same for the men out there, because let’s be honest, insecurities are not gender specific.  There are some men out there that flip the fuck out if they see a dude’s name come across their girl’s phone.  Telling someone that they can’t be friends with someone else is basically calling the relationship quits.  

  My advice to the jealous female would be step your game up, as I said earlier competition is a huge motivator. There is a reason that he hangs out with these woman, not because he secretly wants them, but because they understand him on a whole other level that you have yet to comprehend.  My advise to my friend would be, if she is worth it and you really love her go ahead and play the fool, because I’m willing to bet that she probably has some guy friends  that may not be known to you, but they are there.  This is a touchy subject in relationships, a test of the wills I call it.   Either you will let you significant other run your life and tell you what you can and can’t do, or you will put your foot down.

In my relationship, I don’t care if L has women friends.  Yeah I want to meet them, and if they are better at something than me it would make me want to step my game up. Then again, L and I have been together for almost 5 years and we still do talk about everything including our friends.  I hang around a lot of guys, and I go out with them sometimes to movies and to dinner.  How did I get past that step you may ask? By making them understand that the friends you know aren’t that bad, invite them to hang out with the group. Then at least you can say that you tried to make her a part of your world.  Now this might not work all of the time, because let’s face it, a lot of people who aren’t really in the art industry may not really feel welcomed in our circle. It will just piss them off even more that you have a group of people that are into the same things as you. All you can do is try to educate them on why your art is so important to you. L is not a writer but we compromise, he reads what I write and accompanies me to any artsy thing I want to go to.  I in turn listen to him talk about his computers and electronics, also letting him teach me things that I might need to know about technology period.  A relationship can be built when two people are completely different; it’s all about how hard are you willing to try to be with that other person.

I know that I may appear to be rambling on and some of you have lost the point, but it’s in there somewhere.  So try to understand one another and who knows maybe you’ll have what we call soul mate material. If you really have to change who you are in the end just because your significant other has a problem with your friends, then I would have to say shame on you for punking out and  not sticking to your guns.  If you’re still turning this whole scenario over in your mind wondering which road to take, then consult your friends.  After all, who really knows you better than your friends?  If they are real friends they will take into consideration all aspects including your happiness.

I suppose that is all for now until next time.

~Original Lynn~

Will The Real Lynn Allen Please Stand Up: November 2011

Will The Real Lynn Allen Please Stand Up: November 2011

So I’m going to skip past all of the sun salutations for this one.  I want to get right to the point.  Lately everything dials down to relationships.  The thing about relationships is that they come and go, people that you thought would be with you your whole life vanish in an instant.  I was talking to my brother today and he told me that he was done with relationships, that it was the one thing in life that would make him different than our father, well different and better.  There’s this tiny part of me that almost wanted to laugh in his face, because anyone who knows me and knows all the stories about my father would know that is not a perfect person and his biggest flaw wasn’t his relationships with people.  It was trying to find a reason to trust people.   If my father had not had the relationships that he had then his children would not be here and he counts us as one the greatest achievements.  I think that my brother is lost in his own way.  It is a lonely existence to go through life without anyone, people need compassion. I guess a part of me feels sorry for him, because I don’t think that he really gets it.  To him everything is all about being better than our father.  My father is no saint, but when I hear people talk bad about him there is a part of me that makes me want to rip someone’s head off literally.    It’s a natural part of life to want to be loved and to want to share a part of who you really are with that special someone. So if these words do pass my brother’s eyes, I would say to be too quick to give up.  Great relationships have been built on so much less than the fears of turning out like your father.  Having someone’s blood running through your veins does not mean that you will be like them.

Another thing that I would like to say is if you are in a relationship and you don’t want that person anymore, don’t be so cruel as to throw someone else under  the bus just b/c you are to afraid to tell that person that you don’t want them anymore.  Grow a set and speak your mind.  Some people just aren’t meant to be, and if you spend the rest of your life cowering in a corner then I guess you deserve every bit of misery that comes your way.  I walk around and ask people how long they have been married and then when I ask them if they had everything to go back and do over all I hear is silence of the lambs.  Because deep down you know that there is something that you would want to change.  Maybe love is just a cruel trick that gets played on us all and we keep falling into it’s web because we don’t know any better and loneliness really is a huge tragedy that we all try to hide from.  I'm tred of people coming with this craziness for their "relationship". People throw that word around like it's so casual.  And maybe that is what's wrong, people are casual with  each other and they always say that the are not open to the possibility of love.  the real reason is that these people are really scared to feel anything at all, because all you are is numb and incapable of feeling anything.

Maybe all of my ramblings aren’t making since, maybe my brother JT will make it sound better with his opinion.

IS THERE A SUCH THING AS A SIMPLE RELATIONSHIP

I know people are reading this title and may be thinking John aka JT must be lazy in his relationships and

trust me that is not the case. I have really been thinking about this because I have been listening to

others relationship issues, thinking of my past relationships, as well as what I’m going through now. I

have been through the long distance relationships, those long term relationships the never surfaced,

and been in those crazy situations when you meet someone and the timing was wrong but you can see

yourself with that person for the rest of your life. Hell I even decided to be lonely because I felt like I

kept meeting the wrong people. Have you ever known a relationship that was as simple as meeting

someone, dating, moving in together, and then getting married? Is it possible to be that easy? Now I’m

not saying that being in a committed relationship doesn’t have its bumps, I just mean without such

strenuous things happening. What do men and women have to do to make that happen. Let me bring

you into my life for a minute. I have been in a relationship where my partner always thought because I

treated her well and with respect that I was running game. I mean damn, am I suppose to treat you like

shit for you to feel a brother. I met this one girl and from the start we hit it off. Agreed on so much and

had gone through some of the same things and we both wanted the same things, sounds like we were

on our way to the simple relationship path doesn’t it. As much as we had in common, she still had

strong feeling for her ex and she was moving back home soon and there was no way we could take any

steps further. Not to mention our career goals would not enable us to see each other either. Now when

I say she was moving back home, don’t think across town, I mean across the country. I’m not one to

front, it felt like I was being restricted from a love I knew I deserved. I know some of my closest friends

are probably reading this and may be shocked that I can be affected by a female but I’m not immune.

Now we both knew how it would play out so we remained friends, but it just makes you think. Does it

always have to be that way? Those who are reading this, do you feel that you settled in the relationship

you are in? When is it right to think about yourself and what you want in life without being criticized or

selfish? I know I am asking a lot of question in this portion of the blog, but these questions are very

important. As lonely as you may be, you should wait for the person who is meant for you because as

soon as don’t, you will meet the person you should be with. I have gone through so many downs, with

very limited ups that you would think that I would have just given up by now. I know I go through times

of depression as others do, but better believe I will persevere for what I want in life. Writing about my

life and putting it out to the world is not what I’m used to doing. I believe I needed to get some things

out like I used to when I recorded music. By writing this I want everyone to really talk to their mates and

get everything in the open because that conversation may be what propels you into that happiness that

you both have wished for. As well I want everyone reading this to think about what you want in your

relationship. People don’t think that I am not doing the same thing.

Will The Real Lynn Allen Please Stand Up: October 2011

W  hat’s up to all my  raved  readers,   I would like to just take this moment to say that my last month’s edition of my blog was on a big personal tangent.  I was really moved by all the comments that I got, because that really let’s me know who really has my back and who would love to see me fall.  I want to thank you all for all of your heart felt wishes and curse outs on my behalf.   You guy are the effin bomb dot com.    One last thing before I get to the program.  I would like to take this time to shout out some wonderful occasions coming up.  My Long time friend, Erica Buccini will be marrying the man of her dreams on October 1^st, I can not express how happy I am for her. Boochie, if you are reading this I would like to take this time to say girl we have come a long way from those two girls that used to spend after school at the boys and girls club.  God bless you and Mike and may your life together be full of excitement, and many more happy moments.  Another happy occasion is my home girl Toya Funderburk is celebrating a new life into the world on October 8^th.  Toya if you are reading this, I would like to just say, I know that Kendra and I have been working tirelessly but I’m sure that the fruits of our labor of love will pay off when we throw the most amazing baby shower  ever , we love you boo!!.  And birthday shout out to my high school buddy Billy Williams  Love ya boo and may god bless you on your special day.  Ok now on to the 411.

Children: The New Spouses:

I was sad and dismayed when I was watching Dr. Phil the other day and I saw this segment on teen girls trying to grow up to fast.  Then there’s this grown ass 40 year old man who has taken a 7 year old as his wife. (is that not disgusting?)  I mean the child is not even fully developed and you’re taking her as your wife.  This one girl was fifteen and she had just lost a lot of weight.  She was on the show parading around in clothes that you would see a prostitute in…  So the question that I want to ask is what the hell is going on with these parents?  I’m starting to think that my generation was the last sane generation.  When I hear that 14 year olds are walking around wanting older men to take notice of them, it makes me want to run a just beat the hell of the kids’ parents.  My advice stop letting your daughters act so  damned grown up.  Take the time to know who they are spending their time with, let her know a child’s place because adulthood is not all that it is cracked up to be.  So to all you men that think that having a wife that is a decade younger than you and you are only 27, do me a favor and go walk out in front of the nearest bus, because if you can’t find a woman somewhere around your age to marry, then you are profoundly screwed up and should seek professional help.

Family Members weighing in on Life decisions:

Ok as of lately I have been getting the whole.  “When are you and L getting married?”  Question.  I have to say that it’s driving me crazy.  I understand that everyone one has these ideals of what love is.  My uncle raked me across the coals last week when he found out that L and I have been together for four years.  Some people are under the impression that four years is too long.  To me I think four years is fine. I do not want to get married because you all say so.  I’m not going to force L. to make a huge decision just because it’s what everyone expects.  Funny thing is no one in my family is still married to the same person that they started off with.  Some have been married multiple times.  Which poses the question, how the hell are you going to tell me to do something when you aren’t in a relationship?  I’m tired of people telling me what is best for me when they aren’t in my similar situation.   Fun fact: Lj and I will get married, but it will be up to us to figure that out. It's our decision, no one else’s.

Reviving the Revolution

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and there was a point that was brought up about how no one really takes a stand for anything anymore.  I have to say that I don’t fully agree with that.  People do take a stand; it’s more of how much of a stand are you willing to take?  Many great people have gone to rallies and picketed so that we all can enjoy a lot of the freedoms that we have today.  People in the 60’s and the 80’s, they had passion.  They moved so many mountains and made things happen.  Where is the fight now?  Could it really be possible that in every life time there is only going to be one generation that will really stand for something?   The thing is a lot of people fight for the wrong things.  No one really thinks about what kind of legacy that they will leave behind.   I would like to think that I would leave behind a lot of things for people to think about, which is why I started this blog.  Nothing here is to make any of you agree with me, but to make you look at things in way that you never would have .  Sure some things I come up with are completely random, but they still make you think.  Maybe not all the great revolutionaries are dead, maybe I’m a revolution in progress….

The Artist vs. the Interpretation

This segment is for all my artists out there.  All of you do what you do because you have gifts.  We unleash those gifts out into the world.  But how do you deal when someone mis-interprets your work.  I have a friend who has this gift and the project he has taken on has people labeling him as a racist.  I have to play both sides of the fence.  As the artist we like to think that we have no boundaries but the that sometimes without even meaning to we offend someone in our audience.  The audience is offended hence comes the point where we start throwing labels out.  Because life has taught us that being an artist makes people a little uncomfortable when we make them think of things that could be looked at as a personal stab.  We as the artist sometimes may think that our audience is a little too sensitive.  But then again, interpretation is free not everyone is going to see what you were trying to do.  Some people are going to be offended, and I as an artist laugh, because through this whole spill I wasn’t looking to offend you I was merely trying to put an idea out into the universe that other people may be scared to think or even say out loud.  I laugh a little more and clutch my sides as I ponder  just how ignorant you may have been to my point all along, because we as humans don’t know any better.  If we all took the time to bask in the ambiance of an artist, to really listen to them or really look at them then maybe will have gained a vast amount of knowledge that we never would have gotten if we did not let the sanctuary of our own ignorance collapse upon us.

Sigh, I’m done for this month, hopefully someone took something from this.

Peace brothers and sisters

~Original Lynn~

Will the Real Lynn Allen Please Stand Up: september 2011

Hello to you all.   I hope that you are fairing better than I am at the moment.  I have to say that I am a little vexed right now, but then again it does not take a genius to go to my face book page and read my status’ to figure that out.  The thing is that my reality is shaken, people that I thought were my friends are starting to really show me who they really are.  Anyone who knows me knows that my friends are my world, and lately that has come crashing down on me, like a broken silence.

Then it hit me, people these days aren’t really your friends, they are in fact not friends with you, but your possessions.  I look back on my so-called friendships and I see who has really been there for me. I’m a giving person, so I give my friends a lot. They need a favor; I do it. They ask for me to make impossible things happen; I do that to.  All the while, I don’t ever ask for anything in return.  Why, because I was taught to be selfless instead of being selfish.  But there comes a time when I’m tired of being selfless, when I do want stuff to just be about me. Funny thing about that it is never about me. I’m not saying that I want it to be about me all the time, but it would be nice if someone took a little effort to try to make it about me just once.

I look back at all the times that I have done something for other people, if it’s loaning them money, or buying them a gift.  Please let it be known that I don’t have to do those things, but I do them because I care.  When people do something nice for you it’s said that they never expect anything back in return; but sometimes it is human nature to wonder why no one does anything nice for you, and all you are is nice to them.   I’ve figured it out, some of you people out there that are my so called friends are only here because of what I can do for you, and then you have the nerve to act like because we are friends that I’m suppose to do all that I do for you.  Damn, if that is how a lot of you are, then I sure do have some suck ass friends.

Since I am on my proverbial soap box I’m going to make sure I get this out.  Another thing that has been pissing me off is when people look down on me.  I’m sick of people telling me that I don’t have problems or that I could just quit my job so that my husband can take care of me.  When I hear this I laugh because that lets me know that some of you that walk around claiming to be my best friends don’t really know shit about me.  If you really knew me you would know that I have never been, or will never be that girl. I’ve been working since I was old enough to know what work really was, and I may be working for the rest of my life.  I have never relied on a man to take care of me completely.  I’m not one of these women that sit at home on my ass all day and do nothing while my husband is at work making the money.  Thanks to the woman’s suffrage movement, I’m never going to have to do that.  My boyfriend fell in love with me because of who I am.  He does not require a wife that will walk five steps behind him, but who will fall in step with him, he only steps in when he sees that I really need him.  And if he is reading this, then baby, I just wanted to say that I thank god every day for you being the kind, loving, beautiful man that you are, and I would not change that for the world.  When we finally do make that step to husband and wife, no one will be more proud than I to walk beside you down life’s winding roads as not only your soul mate, but your equal.

The next thing that I wish to address is, how I’m told that I have money and that I don’t have to worry about situations or how I’ll never understand the burdens of being a stay at home mom.  First and foremost, if you knew me, you would know that life has not been easy on me.  Fate has been dealing me cruel hands all my life.  Just when I feel like that I have finally gotten to where I’m supposed to be, fate laughs and says...

“Uh oh, Lynn is happy again, we’d better get her.”

I have been without a lot of things in my life time; I have slept on floors, gone without running water, food, and electricity.  I have done a lot of things that I’m not proud of, and if you were to ask me if I’d do it all again?  I would tell you as long as I turned out the same humble and selfless person that I am today, and then I wouldn’t change a thing.  Someone I would call a true friend was more upset than I was about the comment about my life being easy.  He said something like.

“Right, you’ve worked your ass off for a decade and it’s been so easy, what the hell is wrong with this person?”

It’s nice to see that someone knows that I’m really trying to be a success.  As stated before if you would stop hating on me and mine and do something for yourself then you could be successful too.  Like I said, I made it on a whim and a prayer, Jesus saves and if you not there yet then maybe you need to find a way to get there, being jealous don’t get your prayers answered.  While you are sitting on that pedestal of your turning your nose up at me and how “easy “ my life is suppose to be, then maybe it’s time to stop worrying about what I have and go get yours.  I’m not perfect I do have my problems, if I’m too busy figuring out yours and you don’t give a damn about mine, what the hell does that say about you as a friend?

I know that all of this may seem to be harsh and I’m sure that some hurt feelings will come out of this.   I’m not mad; I’m more hurt than anything.  Because at the end of the day my friends (the real ones) are like family, and if I count you fortunate enough to be included in that, why would you say the things that were said behind my back?  We are all grown folks here come say them to my face.   For those of you who have been there for me and really do consider me friends (you know who you are) thank you.  For those of you that have to wonder if I’m talking about you, do us all a favor and stop wondering because I am talking about you.  Don’t pretend to be hurt and mad, just take what was said with a grain of salt and learn to do right by your other friends because you’ll get no second chances here.

Peace is with you.

~Original Lynn~

  

Will The Real Lynn Allen Please Stand Up: August 2011

Will The Real Lynn Allen Please Stand Up: August 2011

Bonjour mon Amies.  (Hey!)  Hope that things are going well for everyone. I can honestly say that this month has been crazy. I am truly blessed and highly favored.  All I have to say is God is awesome, and if you don’t know you better ask somebody.  Ok so I want to take this time to dedicate this segment of the blog to all the silent haters out there.  Just to know that you hate silently or on face book makes me laugh.  On a lighter note I would like to say happy birthday to all my friends in August: Talathia McKenzie (Feel better boo you are in my prayers always.)  My cousin, Brent Lewis, and long time friend, Matt Thompson hope you all are blessed with more birthdays.

Football is Back!!!

I have to say that I am happy for football coming back. I, however, can not say that about all women. There are millions of women around the country that are pissed that the lockout is over, because now their husbands have an excuse to get missing on Sunday and Monday nights.  What a lot of women fail to realize is that the relationship would go so much easier if she would just jump on the sports band wagon.  Then again, the relationship would be better if some of the men were to cook, clean and keep their children (enough said there).  Yes, men are attracted to us when we get all dolled up, however, they find you more attractive in a jersey with a beer koozie in hand.  A lot of you are sitting there rolling your eyes at me, but I’m serious.  A woman with a shot of tequila and a dirty mouth is the sexiest thing to a man (ask Justin Timberlake).  What’s not so sexy is a girl who doesn’t understand the rules to the game.  There is nothing more unattractive then a girl who doesn’t know the difference in a touchdown and a field goal.

Bitching it Out on Facebook

The biggest pet peeve that I have right now with facebook is when you see these long comments between two people that are arguing.  I hate looking on my page and seeing two people go back and forth online for the whole world to see.  It’s bad enough that you weren’t smart enough to send a text to the person you’re pissed at, but to take it global is just terrible. It’s like a big car accident that no one wants to get involved with but they don’t mind watching.  I guess the thing that pisses me off here is the person that feels that they have to say something snarky on a face book comment. There was a time before facebook and the glorified presence of computers where you either wrote a hand written letter or just got in someone’s face and said what you had to say, then fought and moved on. What the hell happened?  I’ll just say this, not just in my blog but I’ll say it to your face as well. Stop nursing your insecurities on face book, the rest of the world is tired of you bitching and moaning about everything. If you can’t express your feelings in person, than do us all a favor and invest in a diary. Border’s is having a going out of business sale, so it should not be hard to find one.

The Double Standard in a Relationship.

So this was one of the topics selected for my opinion. Why is it when you are in a relationship that it is not ok for your spouse to have a friend of the opposite sex?  I laugh at this one, because there are a lot of women who have straight male friends, but if their spouse has a straight female friend then it is an issue.  I do think that it is a double standard.  How could you, a woman, be the only woman in a group of guys and then be ready to throw hands with any girl who even stops to ask your man for directions?  Then again we have to look at this from both sides.  I have mostly guy friends and LJ knows my guy friends. Lj can have female friends I just have to check them out because these days you never really know.   From a woman’s perspective I would say that it’s an equal thing. Men are just as uncomfortable about their spouse’s friends of the opposite sex as we are.  With the male friends there are some who don’t really care about a commitment that you have, ever since the song “What Your Man Got to Do With Me” came out, some men feel that they are going to test you.  Then again it could be said about some women (have you seen the movie Obsessed?, gents if you come home to your girl beating the hell out of the creepy girl that stalks you at the office, then maybe you should have taken better notes.)   All I’m saying is that given the stereotypical displays here I am thankful to say that the men that run in my circle are nothing like that to me, they are my brothers and I don’t think that I could ask for better so shout out to JT, D, NC, Alex, Daniel, Christian and KD for being those brothers.

Mom Gets Off For Murder of Child

Ok I know that when I saw this story I was mad.  There was a thought in my mind to do a special edition of my blog just for this topic.  My first question is what the hell is really wrong with the system these days? I’m to understand  that people get locked up for robbing banks and drug possession, however, I’m having a hard time trying to process why there are a bunch of killers still walking the streets.  I don’t really care how you spin it, there is no “well I accidentally killed my daughter.”  That whole excuse “it was an accident" is just a load of BS.  I’m sitting here thinking about the slew of bad mothers that I have come across in my life time and wonder what makes you so damned special that you get to have children?  I can imagine the most caring person in the world who can’t have children of their own by some cruel tip of fate, but these monsters out here can have children.  I think the universe has a sick since of humor. Mothers are suppose to be selfless, everything for their children, then again there are some that can’t see past the nose on the face.  Yes, people are given second chances all the time, a lot of people don’t really disappoint when they screw up said second chance.  In my eyes there are two types of people, the ones who actually do take the chance and prove that they learned something and the ones that have learned nothing at all.  Sad to say that the ratio for the nothing at all types is greater than the ones that have changed.

The Kids Are in the Corner

So I had already finished the blog, until I was in the grocery store and saw this.  This lady had three children with her.  The middle child kept touching things in the store after his mother asked him not to.  When he finally pushed her to her breaking point she yells “you’re going to go stand in the corner when we get home.”   I almost laughed at this.  Because I really wanted to ask her what the hell was standing in the corner gonna do?  I cannot fathom what that is suppose to solve.  I mean, little Jimmy is gonna sit in the corner and just figure out more ways to torment you.  Take some advise and whoop little Jimmy’s butt.  I’m not saying hit him until he blacks out, but don’t be light handed.   Maybe some of these moms need a Madea in their lives b/c if you’re too scare to beat your kids, she for damn sure is not.  If your one of these parents that have kids that are bold enough to call the police on you b/c you hit them, then in true Madea fashion say that you hit the last kid so hard they "dialed 919” But please stop putting your kids in corners, it doesn’t solve anything and makes your children think that they run you.  Maybe I should send every parent to time out for not learning how to control their children.

Hope everyone has a great month.  Please leave comments and be sure to visit my blog’s new home at www.thereallynnallen.blogspot.com.   Peace and God bless.