Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Will the Real Lynn Allen Please Stand Up: september 2011
Hello to you all. I hope that you are fairing better than I am at the moment. I have to say that I am a little vexed right now, but then again it does not take a genius to go to my face book page and read my status’ to figure that out. The thing is that my reality is shaken, people that I thought were my friends are starting to really show me who they really are. Anyone who knows me knows that my friends are my world, and lately that has come crashing down on me, like a broken silence.
Then it hit me, people these days aren’t really your friends, they are in fact not friends with you, but your possessions. I look back on my so-called friendships and I see who has really been there for me. I’m a giving person, so I give my friends a lot. They need a favor; I do it. They ask for me to make impossible things happen; I do that to. All the while, I don’t ever ask for anything in return. Why, because I was taught to be selfless instead of being selfish. But there comes a time when I’m tired of being selfless, when I do want stuff to just be about me. Funny thing about that it is never about me. I’m not saying that I want it to be about me all the time, but it would be nice if someone took a little effort to try to make it about me just once.
I look back at all the times that I have done something for other people, if it’s loaning them money, or buying them a gift. Please let it be known that I don’t have to do those things, but I do them because I care. When people do something nice for you it’s said that they never expect anything back in return; but sometimes it is human nature to wonder why no one does anything nice for you, and all you are is nice to them. I’ve figured it out, some of you people out there that are my so called friends are only here because of what I can do for you, and then you have the nerve to act like because we are friends that I’m suppose to do all that I do for you. Damn, if that is how a lot of you are, then I sure do have some suck ass friends.
Since I am on my proverbial soap box I’m going to make sure I get this out. Another thing that has been pissing me off is when people look down on me. I’m sick of people telling me that I don’t have problems or that I could just quit my job so that my husband can take care of me. When I hear this I laugh because that lets me know that some of you that walk around claiming to be my best friends don’t really know shit about me. If you really knew me you would know that I have never been, or will never be that girl. I’ve been working since I was old enough to know what work really was, and I may be working for the rest of my life. I have never relied on a man to take care of me completely. I’m not one of these women that sit at home on my ass all day and do nothing while my husband is at work making the money. Thanks to the woman’s suffrage movement, I’m never going to have to do that. My boyfriend fell in love with me because of who I am. He does not require a wife that will walk five steps behind him, but who will fall in step with him, he only steps in when he sees that I really need him. And if he is reading this, then baby, I just wanted to say that I thank god every day for you being the kind, loving, beautiful man that you are, and I would not change that for the world. When we finally do make that step to husband and wife, no one will be more proud than I to walk beside you down life’s winding roads as not only your soul mate, but your equal.
The next thing that I wish to address is, how I’m told that I have money and that I don’t have to worry about situations or how I’ll never understand the burdens of being a stay at home mom. First and foremost, if you knew me, you would know that life has not been easy on me. Fate has been dealing me cruel hands all my life. Just when I feel like that I have finally gotten to where I’m supposed to be, fate laughs and says...
“Uh oh, Lynn is happy again, we’d better get her.”
I have been without a lot of things in my life time; I have slept on floors, gone without running water, food, and electricity. I have done a lot of things that I’m not proud of, and if you were to ask me if I’d do it all again? I would tell you as long as I turned out the same humble and selfless person that I am today, and then I wouldn’t change a thing. Someone I would call a true friend was more upset than I was about the comment about my life being easy. He said something like.
“Right, you’ve worked your ass off for a decade and it’s been so easy, what the hell is wrong with this person?”
It’s nice to see that someone knows that I’m really trying to be a success. As stated before if you would stop hating on me and mine and do something for yourself then you could be successful too. Like I said, I made it on a whim and a prayer, Jesus saves and if you not there yet then maybe you need to find a way to get there, being jealous don’t get your prayers answered. While you are sitting on that pedestal of your turning your nose up at me and how “easy “ my life is suppose to be, then maybe it’s time to stop worrying about what I have and go get yours. I’m not perfect I do have my problems, if I’m too busy figuring out yours and you don’t give a damn about mine, what the hell does that say about you as a friend?
I know that all of this may seem to be harsh and I’m sure that some hurt feelings will come out of this. I’m not mad; I’m more hurt than anything. Because at the end of the day my friends (the real ones) are like family, and if I count you fortunate enough to be included in that, why would you say the things that were said behind my back? We are all grown folks here come say them to my face. For those of you who have been there for me and really do consider me friends (you know who you are) thank you. For those of you that have to wonder if I’m talking about you, do us all a favor and stop wondering because I am talking about you. Don’t pretend to be hurt and mad, just take what was said with a grain of salt and learn to do right by your other friends because you’ll get no second chances here.
Peace is with you.