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Friday, July 18, 2014

The Definition of a Bad Girl

So, I’ve neglected my writing.  I feel like I need to get back into it, because I need an outlet.  I feel that there are so many factors in my life that I don’t have control over.  Everything is coming so fast.  I have to say that so far this year I have grown a lot as a person.  Self growth is important to me because it lets me know that I’m one step closer to where I want to go in life. 

As I sit here in my bed cruising through the channels on the television I come across the Oxygen channel with the Bad girls club Chicago.  The first thing that comes to mind is how in the world all of these chicks could go on national television with all their problems and insecurities to help spike ratings.  As this question is set in my mind I began to focus on the show.  These girls are different in many ways. (Race, walks of life, and attitudes) are still so alike because they all crave attention.  Sure two bitches beating the shit out of each other just because one did not feel like being bullied by the other, can be entertaining for a while.  But as I have to constantly remind myself is that thousands of impressionable girls are watching this show, and are immolating what they see these other girls do. Hey it got them their fifteen minutes of fame, so why not for them?

As I watch these girls on television making a spectacle of them, a hard truth hits me: Once upon a time that used to be me.  No, I won’t go as far to say that I was a bully, but I was the one that was always quick to pop off and be in a fight.  I did spend a great deal of my childhood fighting.  Even when I was in my early 20s I spent most of my time fighting other girls, and for what, not really sure.  As far back as I can remember for every year that past I would do an evaluation on myself.  I would examine my failures and my successes.  If you could imagine in the beginning my failures were greater; from failure in my goals right down to my family and romantic relationships.  With each passing year I found my successes have outnumbered my failures.  These things have helped me grow into a better me.

Yes, I do have an atomic temper.  It is not good to make me mad, because I go to a dark place.  That is still one of my bigger character flaws that I am working on.  People try so hard to take you out of your element, out of your character.  That’s nothing but the devil in disguise.  I rebuke that.  Some of the triggers for my temper are when I feel like I’m being attacked.  Back in my day I would not hesitate to put my hands on someone.  Now, it’s like what does it solve?  Me fighting someone is not going to make me feel better.  I worry that some of these girls out here are watching this show and are looking to these girls as role models.  This is not the definition of a bad girl.

The true definition of a bad girl is a woman who can go through all of the terrible curves that life throws at her and still be able to live.  To work hard for what she wants even though she knows that the odds are greatly stacked against her.  To be classy and professional at all times.  I don’t think that I am all the way there.  I am a work in progress.  The bad things that have happened to me do not define me: they only help build my character stronger.  I don’t believe that I am damaged; I change every year into a more appealing young lady.

I am not by any means telling anyone to boycott watching bad girls club.  We all find ratchet television entertaining to some level.  But all I’m saying is please teach our young girls out there something more than just how to be baby mommas and whores.  Teach them that presentation is key no matter where they go. Teach them that being original is way better than being part of the crowd.  Advise them that you can be sexy while still being classy.  As I watch these girls try to use fame to hide behind being insecure, I shake my head, because they are going about it the wrong way.  Stop using the Bad girl’s club   house as a step program to fix you.  You can do that on your own.

Last thought I’ll leave for the night.  Just stop and thank God that you don’t look like what you’ve been through.  If that were the case, there would be no prosperous young women.  Just some food for  thought.