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Friday, May 20, 2011

Will The Real Lynn Allen Please Stand Up: The May Edition 2011

Hello to all of my wonderful readers, I hope you all had a
wonderful month. I would like to say
this month I have a real treat for
you, My Brother, J.T Foster, will
be appearing on my blog as a guest
blogger this month, I hope that he is entertaining as well as insightful to you
as I am. I would like to start off by
letting everyone know that we are not here to make you agree with us, but to make you think about things that
people are either too afraid to say or don’t really want to talk about. With that being said I would like to give
birthday shout outs to my home town Homies: Danielle Leake, Kendra Roberts Crystal Aiken, and Jena
Shelton Atwal. My cousin, Renesha I love
ya boo!!! My nephew Alex, happy birthday
baby and auntie loves you. My Sister,
Makiba Gadson Hall, Love ya sissy, my bro from another mother Dametrius (I love
you bookie) My College buddy Will Quinealty (happy birthday old man.) and my Homies Heather Schoolfield and
Valencia Ware, May God Bless you all with many more birthdays. I would also like to dedicate this edition
of the blog to the hard working US armed forces and the CIA.

Death of Bin Laden

I had all my topics all ready to go until I saw this on the
news. Bin Laden is dead. Now the first thing that I would like to say
is I’m about to celebrate. Now I know what
some people are thinking. But let me
shut it down. I do value human life, I believe
that everyone should get their chance to live their life; I however cannot
force myself to be sympathetic to anyone who can just end thousands of lives in
the blink of an eye. The visions of 9/11
still haunt me, as I’m sure it does everyone else. I can tell you what I was doing at that time
and I could picture it all like it happened yesterday. I can honestly say that I am glad that my
hard earned money is finally going to good use.
People these days are so quick to say “yes the system works, have faith
in it.” But it doesn’t always work, the
system is flawed, there have been many child molesters, rapist and god only
knows what else that have skated by the law without having to pay for what was
done. But this time I can say that yes
the system does work in our favor and for once it was a wonderful victory. Lastly on this my only hope is that this guy
suffered before he left this world, one life for thousands. I bet he’ll be pissed when he finds out that
no ice water in hell was not a rumor.

Obama for Second Term

A lot of people are starting to be on edge about the next
election. People are saying that
President Obama should not be in the running for a second term because he did
not do anything. I just want to say,
that I think that the previous statement is the biggest load of bullshit that I
have ever heard. Case and point, before
Obama this country was in billions of dollars of debt, yes that hasn’t really
changed alot but let it also be known that the previous president had 8 years
to completely screw us over. I think that for what was there to work with,
Obama is doing a great job. A lot of
people are also under the impression that I am standing firm on this b/c it’s a
black man in the office, but it isn’t even about that. If Obama had of been white I still would have
voted for him, b/c of what he stood for.
Him being black was a plus, not saying that black people run a country
better that the previous, because that is not the point. Racism has been a part of our history for the
longest time, and it gets old. So all of
you who are sitting here talking about how Obama sucks as a president I ask you
this: If you were elected and you
walked into the catastrophe that is our country, how would you deal with
it? Let me answer that for you: you wouldn’t because you can’t. If you who are claiming the worst of the
president were in office I would have to say that you’d either be impeached in
a week or probably be hiding in the oval office in the fetal position having a
breakdown. Then again if have of you
shit talkers were in the office I think I’d renounce my citizenship, b/c you
probably couldn’t even name the three branches of government, don’t worry, I’ll

Fashion Pet Peeve

Ok the latest fashion pet peeve that has been driving me
crazy is opened toed shoes sans pedicure.
Ladies half of you make me want to smack the hell out of you. Why because that shit is not cute. If I have to see one more scaly toed
B*&^$ walking around with open toed shoes on I’m gonna snap. I don’t know many men that love toes but, I know
that they are out there and I can imagine that seeing a woman wear peek a boo
pumps and her toes look like a battle of epic proportions is just a big turn
off. The fashion rule going forward
please get a pedicure before you decide to go out the house. Now for those of you who don’t know where to
go then you better make that where app work or you can go see my stylist,
Tracy, at Divi Nails and tell her I sent you, if you are that hard up for cash
then buy a do it yourself kit and fix your dogs.

The Definition of a Whore

My niece and I were having a conversation and she asked me
how I would define a whore. I laugh at
her and tell her that all women have the quality because it’s a little more
accepted for women to be a little more promiscuous now a days. So if you are not in a relationship, and I have
to use the term loosely for some women out there, because some are under the
impression that a relationship involves an ass beating every day. (Some people
actually get off on that.) Relationship
you guys are making future plans or if you’re engaged then this doesn’t apply. Those of you who are not in a relationship
can have a little fun. You can sleep
with a bunch of guys (just remember every person you sleep with has probably
had countless others and the ones who say that you are their first just played
you to the left. Think of it this way,
when you sleep with a guy/girl you’re sleeping with every other guy/girl that
they slept with (and trust me I’ve seen some of my ex’s others girls and it ain’t
pretty.) Once you get over that then
just remember that getting tested is a good thing, b/c you while you’ve given
up on that 100 coming your way to go mess with 80 you will end up with 20 and
that is not good. If you are a true
whore then you have guys lined up. When
I say lined up I mean bachelor number one was just at your house at 3pm and now
at 345pm bachelor number two is there.
Please note that there was no time for a shower in between so that not
only makes you a whore but it also makes you a dirty whore.

Can I Get an Amen?

By: JT Foster

I want to start off by saying if you are easily offended by people
having anything to say about

Church, then I suggests you skip to the next part of this blog. Now I
am one to keep it real, and those who

Know me know that I am not the biggest church going person at this
point in my life, but I respect the

Foundation and yearn to find a place to worship. It’s a very hard process;
as well we all know there are

Those who preach the written word and there are those who preach the
word between the lines, or should

I say, make up their own. It doesn’t make any since that a preacher
would have the nerve to talk about

How he sold this drug, and keeps mentioning it like T.I does in his
songs as if he is glorifying it, but then

say but I’m still here. He must listen to T.I because if I’m not
mistaken, he has a song called Dope Boy

N****, and glorifies selling drugs then say it’s a dead end career,
c’mon son. Then preaches about haters

for about 30 minutes, followed by saying he drove a BMW to church, and
he was the guest pastor from

NY….does anyone see the wrong in this. Then had two kids born out of
wedlock, now I don’t know how

old they are or when he was ordained so I can’t comment on that. Now no
one is perfect and a pastor

is still above no man and makes mistakes, but if this was the President
Barrack Obama preacher saying

those things, everyone in the United States would be like wt*. I mean
for a moment I thought I was in the

Kanye West video when he was dancing in Jesus Walks because the guest
pastor was getting it in and

some in attendance joined him. Where are the churches where the
preacher teaches without the theatrics

saying….haaaaa every other word and hmmmmm… that’s not the Holy Spirit,
that’s television. Now the

preacher of this church was a genuine preacher and I could tell by his
vernacular and how he talked to me

and not down to me. As well the choir was phenomenal.

Also while in church, I noticed that the sermon started an hour after
the service started, then we wonder

why black people never can be anywhere on time. The place we go to
every Sunday doesn’t even start

when it starts. I mean if you only go for the word of god why show up
on time I guess? We show up late

to doctor appointments, meetings, clubs, birthday parties, family
gatherings, and if we had the control of

our labor date, probably ever African American child would be born
late. Now on the flip side, would if

the sermon was in the beginning, people would really miss the word of
God. I bet the same people who

missed the sermon would still call themselves true Christians. Let that
sit on your brain a little bit. Thou

shall not make the rock wait to be praised, and I’m not talking about
the great one in the WWE. (Corinthians

10:4….for those who didn’t know) Can I get an Amen…………………….

Well that is
all for this month I hope you all have a great one and comments are definantly
a must.

One Love


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